So with all the random stuff in my head, I really should be posting here more. I guess I hadn't before partly because of time, and partly because of laziness, and partly because I didn't realize how helpful journaling can be. I used to wonder why people did that. It didn't make sense to me. Now it does.

One of the things that came to me was that I've been tethering my own happiness to other people. I want friends, but I can't force friendship. I need to have something to occupy my time.  And the problem there is that I've gotten to the point where I have so little interest in things that I used to. Like playing video games or watching TV.  That's not necessarily a bad thing, which is actually part of the problem.  I used to feel bad about doing those things.  And so I guess I felt like hobbies in general were a waste of time.  But I took some time to look at some Christian writings about it this morning, and that was time well spent. In particular, I looked at Tim Challies and John Piper. I was really hoping he would have something, and he did. This article from Jeff Robinson was good too.

So it's okay to have hobbies.  I can think of a couple of things I can do to occupy time, and not a moment too soon. I was trying to nurture a new relationship, but it looks like it may be over and unsalvageable. That smarts, and it makes me wonder if I scared this person away because I seemed too needy.

I definitely have been craving human interaction more than normal lately, and I'm sure that has to do with me having more free time than I've had...maybe ever in my adult life. Well besides times when I was unemployed.

But those things that I am looking to tell another person I can put here.  So now what I'm wondering is whether this should continue to be on the internet. Maybe there's some stuff in my head that doesn't need to be public. We'll see.

And I think that it's quite fitting that when I googled Journaling, what came up is Journaling for Mental Health.