So I've been trying to work through questions in my walk with Christ. The thing that was on my mind today was I spend a lot of time spinning my wheels wondering if what I'm doing for Christ today is really setting me up for what Christ wants me to do tomorrow. And I'm getting an inkling that I've been off base.
Around this time last year I was on a spiritual high. That was largely because I was experiencing the peace of God. I had gotten back to that place where I really did feel complete in him. But after awhile that peace was spoiled by this incessant questioning in my mind about whether I was actually doing what God wanted me to do, about whether I was doing the right things. It wasn't just about whether I did good that day, it was also about what God had for me in terms of future ministry and whether I was adequately preparing for it. Jennifer Taylor's God Does Not Have a Plan For Your Life was absolutely revolutionary in that regard. Just the idea made me start rethinking a lot of things. I have been thinking about how there are a lot of things that I have been taught in church that I have accepted, that may or may not have their basis in scripture. It occurred to me that a significant amount of contemporary Christian teaching may not be from the bible at all, so I've been taking a second look at the things I've taken for granted.
So lately I haven't been as concerned about the big picture, but there's still the question about my daily walk with Christ. And now I'm wondering about whether the issue is about communication with God--am I hearing from him--or me just wanting to have good feelings, wanting to be at peace.
Communication has been the other thing I've been looking at with fresh eyes. And relationship. Much is made of relationship with God in Christianity today, but is it scriptural? Obviously we are to have a relationship with God, but how is that relationship characterized? What should it consist of? I can talk to God? What type of communication am I to expect in return?
